Letter from Edward Thomas to his wife, Helen Thomas. Archival reference: 424/1/1/1/1/152
LINCOLN COLLEGE
OXFORD

23.ii.1900

My dearest Friend,

It is now nearly 11,
& am I going straight to bed ,
for I have been convinced (tho I
really knew before) by Morgan
& others , that my distress
is largely due to my late hours
& other physical causes. I shall see
what results a week of regularity
has , & report. All the same,
real regularity is difficult here , &

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after by a certain pederast of
the college, tho unsuccessfully. I
continue to see him , but can
hardly say I get on. ... I have
rejoined the Davenant Society because
he is a member. On Monday
Maine as a visitor is to lead
a paper called 'A Literary Waste Paper
Basket' , & I am to open the
discussion , a thing I am
nervous at & dread.

I hope Traill's death will not
shipwreck my Literature hopes ,
I must inquire after the paper they
have on hand. No news from elsewhere.
What of the paper of mine Irene has?
if achieved is not so beneficial as
at home or anywhere where I
live a congenial life. Morgan
is quite irate as he knows of
the laudanum. On this point,
dearest one, I ought to set you at
rest. It is nothing like a
habit with me. It is not
developing into a habit. It
never shall. Every dose I can
trace to a very definite need - in
most cases it is spiritual
distress. When laudanum is

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the only thing (no friend being
nigh) to step between me &
a breakdown. So pray don't be
alarmed. Once or twice it is
true I have desperately taken
a big draught, but the taste
still fouls my mouth & then
memory of it is against another
such indiscretion.

Wednesdays' 'Drunk' was
as dull as these things usually
are. The champagne was dry &
not to my taste : nevertheless, I
took too much. Elsey was all
perfectly sober , & was much run